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[000] redemption_rpg via redemption_mods. [Tue 1 Jun / 12:00am] ( Every time he opened his mouth to disarm Anthony Goldstein, his own wand would fly out of his hand, yet Anthony did not seem to be making a sound. ) post comment

[141] Thursday 10 December 1998. [Thu 10 Dec / 11:57pm] PLACEHELD for an entry to Padma. post comment

[140] Thursday 10 December 1998. [Thu 10 Dec / 11:55pm] PLACEHELD for a private entry. post comment

[139] Thursday 10 December 1998. [Thu 10 Dec / 11:12pm] I have a feeling that writing an entry like this might be a terrible idea, but I've thought about it a lot and it seems like the rational thing to do in light of what happened the last time I kept something like this to myself. I know I'll feel better after this, and I want to be completely honest about what I did during Monday's battle. During the Battle of Hogwarts in May, I killed a Death Eater. I'm thinking most of you already know about that now because Orson Mulciber saw fit to inform everybody that I had murdered his father. I'd like to say that his death was an accident, and I was certainly desperate at the time, but the fact is that I used the Killing Curse -- I intended to kill him in self-defence, no matter how I justify it. I will never feel right about taking another human being's life, even if he nearly killed me and seriously maimed me for life as it is, and I still regret what I did. On Monday, despite my best efforts not to repeat my mistake, I killed somebody again. I don't know who he is, except that he was a werewolf. Again, it was done solely out of self-defence, and it really was an accident this time -- I panicked and tried to get him off me, but I forgot how powerful Expulso is at close-range. I honestly thought he was still alive, if unconscious, but he's dead and I'm the one responsible for it. I deeply regret what I did, and I would take it back if I could so that he could be captured alive and go to prison instead -- but I'm also grateful to be alive, and if it came to it being him or me, I'm glad it was him. I'm not proud of what I did, and I think I'll always feel guilty about it, but I'm also trying to accept that it happened, that I can't change the past, and that if I might be an Auror one day, it might have to happen again despite my best efforts. Anyway, seeing how many Death Eaters are now dead rather than captured on Monday, I suppose a lot of us have killed somebody now. And I know everybody is going to think about it in a different way, but I suppose if anybody wants to talk about it, perhaps under wards, I don't mind doing so, and I'll try not to judge. I'm not a Mind Healer, but I've been there twice now and spent the last seven months working through the first one, so there's that at least. READ ALL (13) post comment

[138] Wednesday 9 December 1998. [Wed 9 Dec / 10:33pm] I usually wouldn't post a public entry asking for advice about this sort of thing, but I figured I might as well this time as I'm as a loss when it comes to ideas and everybody will notice eventually anyway. Does anybody have any ideas for GOOD ways to explain werewolf scars to non-magical relatives and individuals who don't know how to mind their own business? I really don't think the popular 'I was in a car accident' explanation would work this time around unless it involved wrestling bears or driving into the tiger pit at a zoo, and this being me, I'm thinking either of those would simply prompt more questions about what the hell I was doing. And 'I cut myself shaving' doesn't work either, unless it's plausible for me to fall face-first into a box of razors. And I don't think it is. So there. That is all. READ ALL (142) post comment

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